Is it Thursday again??

I didn't go work today and it felt good! I've been feeling totally exhausted for about a week now.
To catch up...I went to Corpus Christi to meet up with my boyfriend of 6 yrs. Valentine's Day was our 6th anniversary, we originally met there back in 2003 after chatting online for about 6 weeks and the rest is history :-) We dined at Blackbeards, which has become a tradition and then just stayed in and enjoyed each other's company. It's amazing what good friends we are, we can sit and talk for hours. I would hate to get married and have that end so I've chosen to enjoy being a "girlfriend" for as long as I can.

Last nght my 26 y.o. daughter and I got into an argument, which is quite rare. It was over some trivial issue and she just said, "now I know what Gilbert (my son) meant when he said he felt like he was walking on eggshells when he lived at home, I can't tell you anything without you blowing it out of proportion!" THAT HURT! Walking on eggshells...? If anyone went through what I went through from 1998-2003 with my son, oh Lord, I dont' even want to remember...3 car accidents, 2 of them hospitalized, major motorcycle accident, broken right arm, rod inserted, lost the use of his wrist until 2006 when he had tendon replacement, traffic citations after traffic citations, arrests for failing to appear in court, staying up all night worrying about him, where was he? was he turned over in a ditch somewhere? was he in jail? And then he had the nerve to say he felt like he was walking on eggshells while living with me?

I wish I was one of those mothers who could say, "Tough Shit, I'm the mom and if you don't like it, there's the door!" But I'm a softie and I never want to hurt my kids, I never embarassed them in front of their friends, I went to every single band practice/concert/football game, every event - I was there. And now my son has said a couple of times that he remembers being "terrified" of me, I told him that didn't sound so nice, and he said, "Noooo, that's good, because that kept me in line." Well, that may have worked until he was 18, and once he graduated all hell broke lose.

Why are we, the parents, always made out to be the bad guy?

Well, my daughter has a 4 year old son and my son will be a daddy come June (God willing) and one day, they too will be parents of grown up kids. I hope I'm around to hear what their grown up kids remember about them.

On a brighter note...I mysteriously lost 2 lbs this week. Scale read 220 today. YEAH!! But, BIG BUT...I was so depressed after my fight with my daughter that I found myself at the bakery buying 4 HUGE cookies! Comfort foods, that's all I could think of today while I was crying all day, just wanted to eat myself into oblivion.

Follow up with my ortho specialist today. All is well, I can remove the brace, he wants me to walk as much as I can without it, wants me to wear it if I'm going to be in crowds, or like at fairs/carnivals, etc. My last physical therpy session was this week, my $1,500. insurance limit has been met so now I get to do all my exercises at home. The therpist gave me a print out of what to do, they are mostly stretching exercises to help stretch my calf and the back of my ankle, the tendon has not totally relaxed so it's a little hard to walk normally. But...if I walk really slow, you can hardly tell that I have an injury. YEAH! Almost...almost back to normal!

Weigh in...finally

Well, I finally stepped on the scale today and it wasn't what I thought. I weigh exactly 222, which I think was what I was weighing before I fell and broke my ankle 2 months ago. It's a victory in itself, because that means I survived the Christmas and New Year's holidays without gaining a pound, but I swear that when I went back to work just 11 days ago I probably weighed 5 lbs less. I am not eating a lot, I just munch on junk sometimes. We are in the middle of a chocolate bar fundraiser at school right now and even though plain chocolate is not a favorite of mine, I bought one yesterday and ate half :-(

I am constantly fighting with my food demons...last week after therapy I drove by a health food place and tasted some sugar coated cashews. They were devine and I bought $10. worth!! I ate for several days, then I finally threw out about half the bag out into the grass, I was sick of eating them...that's probably part of my 5 lb regain in a week! I just have to get my ass in gear and JUST DO IT! In early January I was told about a wedding on 2/21 and I thought...ahhhh, I have like 7 weeks to lose AT LEAST 10 lbs - did I do it? Nope, and the wedding is in 8 days. Tomorrow...it's always tomorrow. Damn food demons, why doesn't someone exorcise them for me!?!?!??!!

I will travel by bus this weekend for 3 hrs to go visit my boyfriend, it's our 6 year anniversary and we've always spent it together, so I hope my ankle is able to lift me up onto old Greyhound!

I sure hope I post a better weigh in next week. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Weekly update

Wow, how time flies. I log on at least 3X daily, but I am reading (not posting), trying to catch up with my online friends, wanting to see how everyone is doing.

I returned to work on Monday and all has gone well. I am very happy to see that the 2 clerks have fared well while I was gone (not that they need me there to do their work), but they seem to have developed a new routine for handling the front office and that leaves me free to do my work w/o having to help them. They answer the phones, take care of the parents who walk in, and handle most of the staff's questions. That frees me to do the bookkeeping/bill paying/payroll/substitutes, etc, etc. It has gone nice and smooth and I was able to go to therapy 3 times this week. I have 2 more sessions scheduled this coming week and then a follow-up with the orthopaedic specialist on the 19th, maybe the brace will be removed at that time. Oh, I didn't mention that as of yesterday I am crutch-free and walking on my own. It was "strange" to stand by the parallel bars and gradually put all my weight on my left foot, I thought I wouldn't be able to, but the therapist gave me the confidence to do it, he kept reassuring me that the bone is healed and that I would be fine, so I walked out of there with my crutch in my hand and not under my armpit :-)

I know I lost some weight while I was at home THANK GOD, because I was worried about boredom-eating. One of my co-workers is one of those who notices EVERYTHING and is quite observant. As soon as I walked in on Monday, she said, "Wow, you lost lots of weight, were you not eating?!?" I told her I was careful of what I ate because I was worried about gaining from just laying around. My clothes fit better and so do my jeans! I am continuing to be very mindful of what I eat also. I usually have one egg with a small slice of ready-to-eat canadian bacon for breakfast, a protein shake for lunch, then I just have a light supper, maybe cottage cheese with a couple of slices of deli lean ham and some pork rinds. You would think I would be losing lots of weight, but my metabolism is shot from my gastric bypass and I know I should be eating more to get it revved up and of course, there's the no exercise, especially lately, but I am determined that this year will be the year I get back under 200 by the end of the year. My all-time high back in about October was 228, I am probably about 215 now, couldn't weigh myself this week because the coaches had the scale in the gym and I was not about to hobble all the way across campus just to use the scale. But this coming week I will make it a point to weigh myself and see if I am more or less correct on my #s.

I have a dream I need to talk about, but don't want to make this post too long, so will cut this one here. Last night's dream coming up...

Almost back to normal

Hello Blogland! Had a follow up with the specialist today. I felt dumb while talking with him. He asked if I was still at 50% weight bearing - told him no, he said 50% last week, 75% this week and a cane next week. His response - well you should still be at 50% so you're a week ahead, and I never said anything about a cane, a cane isn't in my plan for you. Uhh, wait, I just checked my last post and that is what I posted, exactly what he told me. Anyway, he released me to go back to work on Monday, to use crutches as needed. I asked why I still can't push off with my foot, it is tight. He said it's my achilles tendon, and that is what therapy will continue to help with.

I have to admit, it's been nice staying home, totally quiet during the day, but now that I'm feeling much better, it's getting a little boring. I want to get out and be about town, shopping, or just window shopping, so I figure I had better head back to work before I "dollar store" myself broke!

I called in to work, informed my assistant principal that I will return on Monday, but I told her I need some modifications...help with a runner (not a problem, a clerk will do that for me), I need to leave early 3X week for therapy, and I need someone to cover the front office when I am alone. I cover from 1-1:45 while the others go to lunch, and let me tell you, that office can get quite busy with parents coming in ALL THE TIME to take their kids early. I can't be getting up over and over to help them, so they are getting someone to be there with me.

In other news, not sure if I've mentioned before, but I'm going to be a Grandma again! (Grandson #2 coming up, God willing, in June). My son and his lovely fiance are expecting a baby, a TALL TALL baby, he is 6'6", and she is 5'8", so we expect a beautiful baby boy with long legs! A baby shower is planned for March and both families are ecstatic!

It's been beautiful here in South Texas, about 50 in the morning, warms up to 65 during the day, if I was walking better I'd be at a park!

Thanks to my friends who have been checking up on me. I've been reading, just haven't been commenting.

What the heck?

What's with the green twice underlined words in my previous post?? I didn't change any settings for those words!

Anyway...

Ankle Update

The boot was removed today and this is what I have in it's place. The sides are rigid but the elastic is TIGHT! I noticed my calf was swollen this evening and it was almost rock hard so I loosened the elastics on it and now it feels so much better!








I have this other ankle brace from 6 yrs ago and it's much more comfortable. I'm going to ask if I can switch to this one. The only thing is that this one indicates that it's for the right foot and my left is the one injured.





Doc said to continue with 2 crutches while applying 50% of my weight on the ankle. How do I now when I'm at 50%?? After a week he said to apply 75% (again with the percentages) and use only one crutch. On week three he said to use just a cane. I start therapy tomorrow. I was thinking he was ready to release me to work today, but when I told him I had paid sick leave and disability leave, he said "ok, come see me on Feb 19th". I'm not sure I want to be out that long, my ankle really feels very strong. I was walking around on my boot w/o the crutches and I can kind of hobble around on this new brace w/o the crutches. But I'm afraid I may be putting too much pressure on the healing bone and I just may regret it in the yrs to come.

My principal sounded a little disappointed when I told her one more month, said we have budgets and such to work on. I told her I'm doing it all from home, I'm just not there physically.
I reminded her I'm just a phone call away.

I have to give myself a huge pat on the back here...I run the office w/o any help from my principal but she relies heavily on me. She doesn't need my help to run the school, but when it comes to budgeting and accounting, I will find the last penny! She knows nothing about budgets.

I could go on and on, but I will just say that too much would have been left undone if I hadn't been working from home as I have been doing. I could have sat back and said, 'sorry, I'm on sick leave' and refused to do anything, but I'm a responsible person, and lots of people's paychecks depend on me and no one but me knows what I do there.

The doc said since I haven't been using the ankle for 5 wks, it's kind of stiff. So I'm going to do about 2 wks of therapy and see how it goes.

Meantime, I will continue to enjoy my days at home. My sleep patterns are HORRIBLE so when I get ready to return to work I will have to plan ahead and FORCE myself to go to bed at a decent hour.

Silly Boy

Just thought I would try posting a video on here. Still learning my way around blogger, so here goes...

This is my grandson imitating me. This is the "astronaut/moon boot" I use along with the crutches. You had to have been there because it was hilarious! Oh, and he thought to do this all by himself.

Doctor's follow-up tomorrow, we'll see what the status is on my ankle.

TO MY FRIENDS (FOLLOWERS)

This is to thank everyone and anyone who has visited my blog, and especially a big thank you to those who chose to follow me. I have JOANN from CA to thank for bringing friends my way. Back in October I asked her to send some of her buddies my way, since I had none :-(

Lo and behold! Friends started popping out from everywhere...all parts of the US, I think one of my followers is from across the ocean! I never did learn how to "search" for blogs, so as I read blogs I follow, I click on those who follow them. I have to say that I am enjoying this tremendously! I have never had a big circle of friends, 1 or 2 close friends at best, and this is the next best thing. I have learned about people's lives, their spouses, children, pets, likes/dislikes, vacations (almost like being there), and lately, the weather.

Learning to maneuver myself around blogger (compared to AOL journals) couldn't have come at a better time than now that I have been home for 5 wks with a broken ankle. I sit on the recliner day and night, leg propped up and just read away. One blog was so fascinating that I stayed up ALL NIGHT reading, from 11 pm until 7:30 a.m. I e-mailed the lady and told her, unfortunately she hasn't posted in awhile, kind of like losing touch with a good friend. Once I return to work, the laptop will be gone and it'll be back to the desk PC. Time will be more limited there since I will have to go to sleep at a decent hour!

So to all my friends out there, THANK YOU for accepting me into your lives! :-)

Estela

HELP!! Need recipe

Someone (hopefully they are following my blog) posted a recipe about 2 or 3 wks ago for a simple
out-of-the-can soup. Ingredients: Beef broth, veggie broth, can of carrots, diced tomatoes, can of beans.

If you are reading, please send it to my e-mail at Venus905 at aol dot com.

I have all the ingredients, but didn't keep track of the recipe. It's supposed to be cold & rainy here in South TX on Friday and would love to have some soup on hand.

THANKS!

Good Sunday morning from beautiful cool, cool (50 degrees) South TX to all my blogger friends!

Just to give y'all a shout out and share this beautiful piece:

A scientist once ran an experiment which he called "processional caterpillars". He lined up caterpillars on the rim of a pot that held a plant so that the lead caterpillar was head to tail with the last caterpillar, with no break with the parade. The tiny creatures walked around the rim of the pot for a full week before they died of exhaustion and starvation. Not once did any of the caterpillars break out of the line and venture over into the plant to eat. Food was only inches away, but the follow the leader instinct was even stronger than the drive to eat and survive!
When we find ourselves in the rut, we do well to ask ourselves these three questions:

1. Is this rut is my own making? We tend to choose a rut because it’s comfortable and requires no risk. To get out of a rut, make new choices.

2. Who am I following? We adopt certain patterns in our lives because someone has taught them to us directly or by example. Make sure you are following good leaders; don't simply follow the crowd.

3. Where am I going ? Ruts develop when we lose a sense of vision of our lives... When we are "just traveling" through life and not attempting to arrive at a destination. Goals take you somewhere!

"A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd"

This is to remind you that first you have to identify the ruts in your life before you can even change them. So spend so time alone and examine what has been holding you back in your life. And then resolve to make healthy changes in your life that will start to turn things around.

Have a wonderful day!