Thursday, February 19, 2009

Is it Thursday again??

I didn't go work today and it felt good! I've been feeling totally exhausted for about a week now.
To catch up...I went to Corpus Christi to meet up with my boyfriend of 6 yrs. Valentine's Day was our 6th anniversary, we originally met there back in 2003 after chatting online for about 6 weeks and the rest is history :-) We dined at Blackbeards, which has become a tradition and then just stayed in and enjoyed each other's company. It's amazing what good friends we are, we can sit and talk for hours. I would hate to get married and have that end so I've chosen to enjoy being a "girlfriend" for as long as I can.

Last nght my 26 y.o. daughter and I got into an argument, which is quite rare. It was over some trivial issue and she just said, "now I know what Gilbert (my son) meant when he said he felt like he was walking on eggshells when he lived at home, I can't tell you anything without you blowing it out of proportion!" THAT HURT! Walking on eggshells...? If anyone went through what I went through from 1998-2003 with my son, oh Lord, I dont' even want to remember...3 car accidents, 2 of them hospitalized, major motorcycle accident, broken right arm, rod inserted, lost the use of his wrist until 2006 when he had tendon replacement, traffic citations after traffic citations, arrests for failing to appear in court, staying up all night worrying about him, where was he? was he turned over in a ditch somewhere? was he in jail? And then he had the nerve to say he felt like he was walking on eggshells while living with me?

I wish I was one of those mothers who could say, "Tough Shit, I'm the mom and if you don't like it, there's the door!" But I'm a softie and I never want to hurt my kids, I never embarassed them in front of their friends, I went to every single band practice/concert/football game, every event - I was there. And now my son has said a couple of times that he remembers being "terrified" of me, I told him that didn't sound so nice, and he said, "Noooo, that's good, because that kept me in line." Well, that may have worked until he was 18, and once he graduated all hell broke lose.

Why are we, the parents, always made out to be the bad guy?

Well, my daughter has a 4 year old son and my son will be a daddy come June (God willing) and one day, they too will be parents of grown up kids. I hope I'm around to hear what their grown up kids remember about them.

On a brighter note...I mysteriously lost 2 lbs this week. Scale read 220 today. YEAH!! But, BIG BUT...I was so depressed after my fight with my daughter that I found myself at the bakery buying 4 HUGE cookies! Comfort foods, that's all I could think of today while I was crying all day, just wanted to eat myself into oblivion.

Follow up with my ortho specialist today. All is well, I can remove the brace, he wants me to walk as much as I can without it, wants me to wear it if I'm going to be in crowds, or like at fairs/carnivals, etc. My last physical therpy session was this week, my $1,500. insurance limit has been met so now I get to do all my exercises at home. The therpist gave me a print out of what to do, they are mostly stretching exercises to help stretch my calf and the back of my ankle, the tendon has not totally relaxed so it's a little hard to walk normally. But...if I walk really slow, you can hardly tell that I have an injury. YEAH! Almost...almost back to normal!


  1. Glad you had a nice weekend with your BF, you deserve it. Sorry to hear of the trials and tribulations with daughter.

  2. I always tell my daughter that I hope her kids are just like her and then she'll understand! LOL

    Have a good weekend.

  3. MMMMMM BLACKBEARDS!!! I love that place!!!

    Congrats on the 2 lbs this week :)

    WOO HOOO!!!

  4. I bet you will be around when your grandkids are acting up and your kids don't know what to do. They will probably come to you for advice, and then they will understand what the egg shells were all about.

    DB Vagabond Journeys

  5. Estela,
    Here's a hug (((HUG))) from one mom to another! I have a 20 year old who has been going through some things the last year. He's basically a good kid, but flunked out of college, ran through a few girlfriends before going back to the original girlfriend and well, put me and his father through some hell! I can understand your pain, girl! Those words hurt more than they know. Especially when your life has been spent doing everything for them, sometimes it just feels like its never enough. Now, my husband could be one of those "hit the door" kinds of parents, but I just can't. Where would he go? I can't stand the thought of what would happen.

    My heart is with you girl!

  6. Kids can hurt you more than anyone else in the world. It sucks.

  7. Hey, GF. Don't sweat it. They get their payback when they have their own kids. LOL... It's not til they become parents themselves that they realize that you did the best you could with the cards you were dealt. Love blackbeards. Is my friend's mural still there?! Let me know when you go to Corpus again!!!! Teehee... Good for you @ remaining a girlfriend instead of a wife... & Congrats on the Mysteriously Disappearing Two-Pound weight loss!!!!!! Please send me your number so we can meet before I have to move.