Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Yesterday (Tuesday) was an okay day.  I had an all morning meeting away from work so there was no chance for breakfast.  I am not an early breakfast person, I am more of a 9ish person, so couldn't get anything at that time.  At noon I went to Luby's and bought a spinach salad, LuAnn fried fish with fried cauliflower (to die for, had never tasted that) and broccoli wth rice casserole.  I ate the fish, 2 florets and most of the rice thingy.  I got SO sick!!  I guess it must have been because I ate "clean" on Monday, so there was no "junk" in my intestines. 

Due to my gastric bypass, I sometimes dump on certain foods.  The fried stuff must have been too much for my system.  My heart was racing, I broke out in a severe sweat and I felt like I was going to pass out.  That hadn't happened in years!  I relaxed, told myself I would be okay, and in a few minutes I was.  Had another string cheese and s.f. jello for afternoon snacks.

Didn't get home until about 8, and found myself eating supper at 9:30.  2 slices of lean deli ham, 1/4 slice cheese inside, a thin strip of celery and cilantro inside...delicious!!

Experimented a little at night: turkey meatballs...turkey, crushed pork rinds, celery and cilantro.  Baked 20 meatballs in the toaster oven for about 40 minutes, they came out devine!  Will be waiting for me for supper when I get home tonight.

WEIGHT: 224.25 (hey if the scale weighs in quarter pounds, I am gonna take it!)

I am so much looking forward to just 199!, just to see that "1" again, and then take it from there.


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Day One

I decided that I would hit the escape & delete key in my daily struggle with my weight, and start all over again today.

Today's weight: 225.5

Breakfast: Protein shake

Snack:  1 cup s.f. jello

Lunch: 2 cups salad, 4 oz baked chicken breast. 

Snack at 3 pm: 1 string cheese

Snack at 5 pm: Protein Shake

Supper: 2 cups salad, 4 oz baked chicken breast

My salads are simple, just romaine lettuce, green bell pepper, carrots, and 1/4 c. cottage cheese to make it moist, no croutons or dressing.

I have an appt. next Monday to see my general practioner for an endoscopy referral.  I am really interested in finding out the size of my pouch and stoma 7.5 yrs after my gastric bypass.

I was quite satisfied with what I ate today.  I would love to be able to say that I'm very strong when it comes to willpower, but I'm a wuss.  Today I was able to just say no to cake and candy, I pray to God that He give me strength to continue this way of eating.  Food is just nutrition, I should be a glutton everytime I eat.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Time Flies...

I've been suffering from anxiety every single day as I take off for work.  I take deep breaths, I talk to myself, but it doesn't help.  There are times when I have to take some xanax just to be able to make the 8 minute drive to work.  Once at work I'm okay. 

So this morning I went to the dr's for a refill of my RX.  Got there at 8:15 before they even opened the office, I was the 4th one to sign in.  Several patients were called in before me and I understand some of them were there for labs only.  At 10 I finally got up and asked the nurse and the receptionist what was going on...why was I skipped...look around, I told them, the office is almost empty!  They were apologetic and said they'd look into it.  By the time they called me in 5 mins later I was furious!  Now I'm normally a very patient person, so my feelings this morning took my by surprise.  In fact, I had taken half a xanax before they called me in because I was starting to breathe heavy!  I was SO upset!  When they took my vitals I told the lvn, "don't EVEN take my blood pressure, I'm sure it's high!"  Anyway, I finally saw the PA (doctor was out), got my refill, and made sure to tell her to take notes that my anxiety has gotten very bad since my car accident. 

My attorney sent me the offer from the other insurance...they are offering $1,039 for my totalled Chevy Metro.  I sent him the criteria for my car being in good to fair condition and the value is much higher than that.  The trade in value would be 990 and the private party resale would be $2,150.  It told him to ask for at least $1,300.  I can only imagine what hassle we will have trying to collect on my bodily injury.  My physical pain may be over, but it's a nightmare for me to drive anywhere...I imagine every car is going to rear end me at any minute!  It's horrible feeling like that, but I can't help it.

My weight is at an all time high, 228 this morning.  Not even sure what to do anymore.I have an appt on the 29th with my doc to see about having an endoscopy to make sure everything is still in working order (from my gastric bypass).  Maybe I'll get an answer to the weight regain.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Going back...

My parents were working in Ohio when I was born, then we moved here when I was 2 yrs old.  

I married at 23, had 2 children, lived a miserable 4 yr marriage, then got out when I was 27.  I raised my son & daughter, now 28 and 26, alone.  Looking back I don't know how I did it financially.  There was no child support (not because I didn't challenge the legal system!), no welfare/food stamps (supposedly I earned too much for a family of 3, I think I used to earn about $800/month), and I had a $200/month mobile home pmt and $220/month child care.  I remember going to the grocery store weekly and only being able to spend $15.!! Of course, things were cheaper then, but still...  I tell eveyone who asks that GOD helped provide, because we never went without.

In spite of my ex cursing me and telling eveyone who would listen that I was going to lose everything, I managed to pay 11 yrs on the mobile home until it was paid for, then I took out an $8K loan and added a room and made some repairs, paid that off, and in the meantime I would scrimp by and save every penny I could. 

Six yrs ago I asked my parents to co-sign a $30K loan and my beloved BIL was my contractor and he built a 3 bedroom brick for me.  I am proud to say I paid $500/month and I just gave the final payment 2 wks ago!! YEAH ME!!!! How's THAT for Women Power?!?!???!!!  I always say, where there's a will, there's a way.

Don't want this to get too long, so I'm going to cut it here for now.  Will reminisce more as I have time.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


It's raining...AGAIN!! I had planned to work on my yard today and they're announcing flood advisories on the tv.  Oh boy, I'm going to have to hire a crew to come cut my 1 acre of grass when all this is over!  The grass is so wet all the time that we don't have a chance to cut before it grows really high again!

Not sure if you can make out how high the grass is from this picture. Half the trampoline's legs are hidden from the height of the grass.  See the bent poles?  That is as a result of Hurricane Dolly back in July.