End of the Year

5 hrs and we'll say goodbye to 2008 and welcome in 2009. How fast time flies...do you all remember the scare of Y2K, when 2000 was coming in and everyone was scared that time was going to stop, that the water was going to run out, that all computers were going to crash!! Remember that!!!

Update on my broken ankle. Saw the specialist yesterday and he removed the fiberglass cast and put my foot in a walking boot. Darned thing looks like something the astronauts wear! I can now touch my foot down to the ground, but very, very slightly, when I am walking with crutches. He said that I can remove it to shower (have to sit on a chair) and that I should be able to take it off while sleeping in about 3 wks. It's coming along faster than I thought. YEAH!!

This year has been an average one for me. I was rear-ended in June by a drunk 15 year old girl, then had emergency outpatient surgery in August, and now my ankle. Yep, a little more illnesses than normal, but a very normal, quiet year in a small town for this small town woman.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year, may all our hopes and dreams come true, may the lonely find love, may the unemployed find suitable employment, may those of us who constantly fight the battle of the bulge finally win the war!!

Please be careful out on the road. We just had 3 brothers-in-law die (they were all married to 3 sisters) in a drunk driving accident - they hit a semi 2 days ago. If you drink, don't drive. If you drive, don't drink.

Estela in South TX

Weight Loss??

I originally started this blog waaaaaaay back in 2003 as an incentive to lose weight. I didn't follow through on blogging and found myself gaining about 23 lbs in the last 5 years. I really want to lose 50-60 lbs but just don't have the determination! What in the heck is wrong with me? I had gastric bypass surgery almost 8 yrs ago, lost down to 170 and was extremely comfortable in a size 12, down from a size 26. I was a gym rat, I monitored what I ate, and then little by little, bite by bite, I wandered into the forbidden garden once again. Cookies, teeny tiny bites at first, now can eat several at once. I can't drink milk, can't eat beef, but I love chicken and turkey.

I know what I'm supposed to eat and to be quite honest, I fill up rather quickly when I eat what I'm supposed to...chicken breast with few veggies/small salad. I don't drink with my meals. But my doc said that the body will try to go back to it's previous state, it starts to absorb more calories. Since I eat things I shouldn't like slider foods (chips,cookies, crackers) and I get no exercise at all, my body absorbs all calories and the weight has crept back up.

20 years ago, I maintained 222 lbs for years and years, then my weight jumped up to 285 in about 10 years. For some reason my body wants to be at 222, which is what I weighed for several years. When I was at 215 I dropped down to 203 and my daughter just couldn't understand when I prayed for "JUST 4 lbs"...I so desperately wanted to see 100's again. Nope, went from 203 to 218, then 228, and now at 222 for about 7 months or so.

I've been laid up with this broken ankle since 12/10 and I was being very careful, eating very little because now I REALLY don't get any exercise, I have made the sofa recliner my "home" since then. As I have felt better and gotten stronger, I have started eating a little more, my appetite is greater now, and I hobble on my crutches to the kitchen and bring bite size chocolates in my pockets! I tell you, once an overeater, always an overeater! I really am trying to make wise food choices! My daughter goes back to work on Jan 5th, and while she's gone I have her pack a thermos bag for me with string cheese, boiled eggs, smoked turkey.

I know I can beat this! My pledge to myself for 2009 is to reach 199 by this time next year...baby steps, baby steps, one small bite at a time.

I must stay accountable here, just for myself. I have to write it down so I can see progress. I CAN DO IT!

Update on my Daddy

My Daddy came home from the hospital on Christmas Day at about 2 pm. Tests show he had a mild heart attack, doc says probably from the severity of the vomiting. Daddy is 80, he had his first severe heart attack when he was 43 and has been on medication since 1971. Heart catherization in '88 showed severe blockage so docs agreed that he would have bypass ONLY if he suffered another heart attack because he was too high of a risk to operate on. Fast forward to 2006 and he had the dreaded attack but due to the passage of years and so much new technology, docs agreed to operate. His odds were greater but he came through with flying colors. His health has greatly improved since then! In fact, he does not show his age, people think he is 70 rather than 80. Doc said he suffered minimal damage with this mild heart attack and his meds will be increased slightly. Our concern now is that "spot" on his pancreas. God willing it is what the doc thinks and it is a treatable tumor. IF YOU PRAY, PLEASE KEEP HIM IN YOUR PRAYERS! He means the world to me and our family. He is our pillar we all lean on. He is a man of few words, but his words speak volumes!

Time & Date??

Wow, just noticed that the post I just sent says 12/24/08, 9:43 p.m.!! Gotta work at this to see if I can fix that.

Testing, testing...

Testing because the time and date seem to be off on here. Hopefully this post will say 12/25/08, 12:30 a.m.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Well, it's 12:20 a.m., Christmas day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!! :-)

I have come to a self-realization - in prior years I always went through a mini-depression around this time. I always made plans to buy gifts during the year and somehow only got around to doing it twice, many years ago. So I would usually buy gifts between the 10th & the 23rd, browsing, shopping, thinking, wondering which would be the "perfect" gift. The traffic is horrible, the people are rude, the stores are a mess...all leading up to my feelings of sadness; too much commercialism, everyone forgetting the reason for the season, sadly, me included at times.

This year I have been laid up with my broken ankle since the 10th. Even though I am able to get around a little better I have refused to go anywhere except the doctor, the hospital to see my Dad on Sunday and to the dentist yesterday. So not going out in the crowds has been Heaven-Sent to me!! Don't get me wrong, it's not the money because I always budget wisely and I can afford gifts. What I did was order tamales (Mexican specialty, especially during Christmas) for my siblings. I had already purchased gifts for 4 little ones in my family (they are the only children under 12, everyone else is 20 and up), so I had my daughter wrap and deliver those today.

My Dad is still in the hospital. It started with severe vomiting for 4 days which he ignored until he wound up in the emergency room with a very high fever on Sunday. Diagnosis...stone in his pancreas causing a blood infection! The stone was removed today through an endoscopy but the gastro doc saw a "spot" on the pancras that he is concerned about. Took a biopsy and we will know next week, says it could just be that the pancreas in enlarged or it could be a tumor that he has seen before and he can take care of. Please keep my Daddy in your prayers, he will be 81 in about 7 wks and is a heart patient. God Willing, he may come home tomorrow.

Have a wonderful Christmas everyone!!

GRATEFUL!

This is going to be long, that's what I get for failing to update more regularly.

My boyfriend came to visit on Thursday, the 18th (he lives 250 miles away). He wanted to be here to go with me to the specialist office visit on Friday. My ankle is healing and I will not need surgery. In fact, he said the fiberglass cast was doing it's job and he will not change it to a plaster cast. I have an appt. for the 30th and I think he is going to put me in a "boot" and will start "weight bearing?" I guess that is stepping on it in increments, because there is still pain if I step on it. Granted, not as much as 2 wks ago, but pain none-the-less. Doc said by the time all is said and done, it will be about 4 months. I work with the school district, so I guess you could say I should be well by the time the school year is over. :-)

I must confess that I've been in a pity pit since this happened. I cried, I questioned why me, I got upset, I couldn't believe this happened to me. Feeling so helpless made me feel so down!

Then came Sunday and my dad wound up in the hospital after being ill for 4 days. Let me tell you I rushed out on my crutches (crunches, as my 4 y.o. grandson calls them), hopped into my sister's car and off we flew to see Daddy. I had been wearing a sock over my toes and I didn't even take the time to put it back on and it was about 40 degrees and that is cold for us! That shock made me come out of my "woe is me" attitude and I have felt so much better these last 3 days. I even kept a dentist appt I had for this morning.

One thing I noticed was that my foot and leg were getting a little swollen again. The PA at the doc's had told me I could sit on a regular recliner w/o having to have my foot above my heart. But after doing that for 4 days I noticed the swelling coming back. So last night I went back to the sofa recliner, all the way back, my foot piled up on 3 pillows and today I am much better.

It has been a little on the cool side here, down to the low 40's, but guess what?... we're having a "Tropical Christmas"...it's predicted to be 84 on Thursday!! I can't remember such a warm Christmas in a while. Considering what the northern part of the US is going through, from west to east, I think I'll take our tropical Christmas over waist deep snow.

I hope all my blogger friends from up north are doing okay, staying warm and safe inside.

Day 7

For anyone who thinks that being confined to bed rest is fun - you're very mistaken! Yes, it might be nice to be all comfy and cozy under soft comforters, in the fetal position, but I can't do that. I am spending all my time face up on my sofa recliner, recined as most as I can with 2 pillows under my left foot. I can't move from there! I only get up to hobble on my crutches to the bathroom that is about 10 feet from me. That in itself is a monumental job, totally drains my energy.

Last night I fell as I was going to the bathroom. I lost my balance, I kind of fell in slow motion, tried to protect my foot by lifting it up into the air. I fell on hard on my left elbow & shoulder and on my tailbone. I cried out for my daughter who came running. For a long time I just lay there on the floor and cried...out of frustration, out of self-pity, out of pain. I finally crawled to the sofa and was able to drag myself up until I started all over again to the bathroom.

Why do I feel so sorry for myself? Maybe because I've always been the strong one, I have depended on no one. I raised my children by myself, no child support, no social aid. I did what I physically could in my home, I don't like to ask for help. It is hard for me to lay here and ask for things to be done for me. I feel like I am a burden. Why would I feel like this? I know that if it were my daughter who was in my position, I would be running around doing things for her without a complaint, but that's just the mother in me.

Not even sure what's going to happen. Dr. appt on Friday to see if the healing has started, if the bone has moved he will operate on my ankle. If it hasn't moved, and if I have to remain in this position until possibly the end of January, not sure I can do it.

Anyone else been in my position?

Down, but not out!

Wednesday morning I slipped on rainwater and broke my left ankle. In excruciating pain, somehow I managed to hobble up onto my right foot and hopped around my car until I got in my house, all the while praying to God that I not fall again. I managed to make some calls and a co-worker came for me, helped me dress loosely and drove me to the doctor's. I decided not to go to the emergency room because (1) I would probably wait for 6 hrs before being seen, and (2) they would take x-rays and tell me to go see my doctor or a specialist.

My doctor couldn't see anything, but said that didn't mean there wasn't anything there. He put a "boot" on me and sent me for an MRI. An appt. was made for me for Thursday morning with an ortho specialist. After a pain-wracked night I finally made it into the specialist's office yesterday morning. I have a 4" spiral fracture (which is why it didn't show on the x-ray). He put a fiberglass cast on it and sent me home with instructions to stay as immobile as I can for 4-6 wks!!! I go back next Friday to see if the healing has begun...if the bones have moved, then it's off to surgery.

I am doing what he says, have stayed as still as possible. But it's so darned hard to stay in one position! I am on the recliner, all the way back and foot propped up on pillows to get my ankle higher than my heart.

I got on here really quick because I had to make an online payment and decided to stop by here. Can't sit for more than 5 minutes on a hard chair, my leg starts to tingle and go numb. And learning to use crutches at 53 years of age and 200 lbs is a B**CH!!!! Thank God I don't have any stairs in my home!

See you guys later! Looking to borrow a laptop to use during my bed confinement.