Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Day 7

For anyone who thinks that being confined to bed rest is fun - you're very mistaken! Yes, it might be nice to be all comfy and cozy under soft comforters, in the fetal position, but I can't do that. I am spending all my time face up on my sofa recliner, recined as most as I can with 2 pillows under my left foot. I can't move from there! I only get up to hobble on my crutches to the bathroom that is about 10 feet from me. That in itself is a monumental job, totally drains my energy.

Last night I fell as I was going to the bathroom. I lost my balance, I kind of fell in slow motion, tried to protect my foot by lifting it up into the air. I fell on hard on my left elbow & shoulder and on my tailbone. I cried out for my daughter who came running. For a long time I just lay there on the floor and cried...out of frustration, out of self-pity, out of pain. I finally crawled to the sofa and was able to drag myself up until I started all over again to the bathroom.

Why do I feel so sorry for myself? Maybe because I've always been the strong one, I have depended on no one. I raised my children by myself, no child support, no social aid. I did what I physically could in my home, I don't like to ask for help. It is hard for me to lay here and ask for things to be done for me. I feel like I am a burden. Why would I feel like this? I know that if it were my daughter who was in my position, I would be running around doing things for her without a complaint, but that's just the mother in me.

Not even sure what's going to happen. Dr. appt on Friday to see if the healing has started, if the bone has moved he will operate on my ankle. If it hasn't moved, and if I have to remain in this position until possibly the end of January, not sure I can do it.

Anyone else been in my position?


  1. Estela, I am also glad to see you and wonderful your here. however I am sad to find you laid up. What a drag. Its hard for Mom's to be needing waiting on. But, you don't want surgery. I am putting you on alerts. Hugs

  2. I am currently moving at slow speed.. not bed ridden because moving around is actually supposed to be better for me (following the procedures I had Monday). But it is hard to slow down when you are used to doing it all. Hope the news is good at the doctor's.

  3. Aww, Honey, I'm SO SORRY!!! It sounds like heaven to me now, but I know that must be horrible to be out of commission like that!! It IS hard when you are so used to being so independent.

  4. I'm so sorry! it is hard for us who are independent to be forced to rely on others or be at extreme periods of immobility while our bodies heal; I feel for you! I hope the doctor gives you good news that things are healing when he sees you on Friday


  5. try to hang in there! i hope you have a good friday. hugs

  6. I am so sorry you are having a hard time right now. I know how frustrated you must be right now. You sound a lot like me in the asking for help department. I had a hysterectomy 4 weeks ago. Two days after getting home, the hubby got called into work (he had taken off to be with me) and I thought I would be fine here with just my 20 year old son. I found myself just getting up and doing for myself rather than ask for help, which of course was dumb and caused more pain.

    Now, I realize this is in no way comparable to what you are going through, I just wanted you to know I understand and I care.!

    I am sending lots of healing vibes your way!! Good luck this Friday.

  7. Just checking to see if you have been to the doctor yet, and if so, what the doc said. Hope you are healing!

  8. Just checking to see if you have been to the doctor yet, and if so, what the doc said. Hope you are healing!